It has turned out to be more difficult than I imagined to find people who are on ODSP to interview about how they contribute to society. As I mentioned in my last posting, people who deal with Moneybags and other parts of the service system have a variety of reasons to keep their experience and strategies to themselves.
At my first attempt to set up an interview I asked a neighbour who has been very active on one of the committees here at the co-op. She seemed hesitant and as I was calling on the phone I decided to change tactics. We agreed that I would come and visit her the next day. We live only a few floors away from each other.
Shortly thereafter I received a call from one of her case workers who told me that if I had questions I should ask them of her, the service provider.
Now I may not have responded very effectively but frankly I was taken aback. I have known my neighbour now for the eight months that I have lived in this co-op and from the very beginning, she and her husband have provided me with social support and have also participated actively in committee work. So my response to the case worker was to firmly state that my interview with my neighbour had nothing to do with service provisions and that I would ask my questions directly of my neighbour. Then I abruptly hung up.
The next day I received an e-mail from my neighbour who withdrew from the co-op committee and asked me not to call or visit.
I have not yet figured out what to do to restore my relationship with my friend. I imagine that at some point we will get it together again. I have mostly been “kicking” myself because I am neither naïve nor inexperienced with the service system. I could have predicted that they are closely supervising my neighbour’s relationships in the name of protecting her from something. Rather than allowing me to explain myself, either to her directly or with a supervisor present, they likely have simply convinced her that the stress is too much for her even though neither she nor they have any idea what I would be asking of her.
My second attempt to find someone to interview found me asking a person who it turns out is not on ODSP. That is, of course, no big surprise as there are many ways poor people get “benefits” in our society. One isn’t stamped with ODSP on one’s forehead. I guessed that this person’s circumstances involved an emotional characteristic that made it difficult to hold down a job. I was wrong!
With experience no doubt I will figure out ways to more comfortably ask people if they would be willing to disclose where their benefits come from and if they would participate in this blog.
The third person that I asked is Fred, who I met at my first ODSP Support Group. Fred interpreted my request as a desire to know how he volunteers. Now volunteering IS one of the ways people contribute to society, but that’s not really what I am looking for. Fred’s take on the question was interesting to me though because it put me in the place of trying again to explain what I AM looking for. I made a draft and we got together to discuss it.
Fundamentally I am exploring how “needy” people contribute to their communities and to the larger society. In our language, and so in our organizations, we divide the helpless from the helping, the needy from the gifted. This division creates a mask, obscuring the reality that one process cannot exist without the other. In any “helping” relationship, both are giving. I am intimately interested in the economic side of this disguised relationship.
(Beyond this, even the idea that one is helping is suspect in my view, but I don’t want to get into that just now – another story perhaps.)
When I speak about economics I am referring to how people together create ways to take care of their daily needs for being sustained, educated, entertained, transported, etc. It has become abundantly clear to me that being poor is part of the rock bed of the economy of our society - an economy that cannot put many people to work as farmers or labourers. A large service and consumption oriented economy is an answer to a post-industrial lack of employment. But a service economy requires people who demand services. For example there can be no case worker without a “needy” person to sustain the process.
People who are labelled disabled contribute to our economy in a number of ways. I once counted twenty-six ways. From the child with autism in a regular classroom who causes his teacher to become a better educator, to the non-speaking person who makes everyone in their vicinity feel happier, people who are labelled disabled, and so people who are on ODSP in particular, continuously contribute invisibly.
The nature of these contributions is that they are relationship focused and so life sustaining without necessarily producing a result that can be counted in our data oriented world. Nevertheless without such contributions relationships themselves are diminished in their quality and sustainability. An unhappy customer shops elsewhere. A lazy teacher deprives hundreds of children of opportunities to love learning.
So, yes, I am interested in the fact that Fred frequently, on days when he feels well enough, volunteers. By his own account volunteering is an activity that has filled many hours of his week for many years. But I am more interested in the contribution that comes through in his voicemail message where he asks for prayers and offers blessings and otherwise puts the caller in mind of a spiritual dimension - an aspect of human experience frequently absent from our daily lives. In his own words: “I am available to provide assistance or help to another. Each day I try to make the world a little better by being considerate, understanding - a simple hello, or just a smile - a simple acknowledgement of the value of the person, the situation or organization.”
Fred and I talked quite openly for about an hour and there are many other details that he did not choose to share in the blog. He shared contributions that belong to some very ordinary jobs and some that don’t typically get paid for. He also shared stories of being blocked from receiving money by community members, family, service providers and Moneybags – all in the name of his so-called disability.
Throughout our time together I was struck by the straight forward manner in which he gave his details, by the occasional twinkle in his eyes and his gentle humour. Perhaps one of Fred’s greatest gifts to me is that he showed how a confident and intelligent man who has met many road blocks in his career and his faith can tell an honest story without leaving out difficult details - and yet do so without bitterness or recrimination.
May my stories live up to the standards that Fred has set for himself.
Judith
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Whew! Stinky!
Yesterday I attended my second ODSP Support Group meeting at a downtown Toronto community centre. I got there early as I had arranged to meet up with a gentleman I met there last month. I have begun to write his story from the point of view of the contributions he is making to his community and society. Yesterday we took an opportunity to explore why I want to write like this and how this is different from making a list of ways that he volunteers.
I’ll call him Fred. Fred pointed out why ODSP recipients might well be suspicious of anyone asking them questions of how they contribute. He himself has been audited twice. Regardless of my “good intentions”, information I write here may well be picked up and used in “the system” to raise questions, foster misunderstandings and create delays. Many people would rather not risk that extra burden.
Fred does not use the internet but in a few days I can fax him the revised story we worked on. I believe that the next blog entry after this one will give you a sense of how his compassion and gifts are expressed.
Aside from this exchange I was very glad I showed up for the monthly meeting – so glad that I think I am going to try to be a regular. There were three people (and one dog) present who had not been at the last gathering and it made for a very different dynamic. Last month’s chair, the man focused on advocacy with his reams of data re tussles at the government level to further restrict access to the “special diet” – he was there documents in hand but other concerns dominated the discussion this time.
The conversation still centred on one person - the woman with the dog - but its focus was on strategies for getting as much as possible out of Moneybags. This is of prime interest to me! There we sat, gloating over potential treasure like the very thieves the system deems us to be, reviewing the ins and outs, ups and downs of a very complex set of rules that determine our financial context.
Perhaps the most fascinating moment was when someone revealed that the tracking system used by ODSP was created in another country – Sweden he believed – and that it is known to be full of glitches. One of the most common snafu apparently is the random mailing of letters from – guess who – R. Jackson (see previous blog!) to hapless recipients who get “informed” that they have been overpaid or are being cut off, or ….
It’s a rare and beautiful moment in life to discover that one is right. I am enjoying it!
So, indeed, I did receive a notification last year, relative to nothing at all, that I had been overpaid, that my non-existent benefit was being clawed back, then a few months later that my overpayment had been resolved. The entire set of events that my case worker had absolutely no knowledge of really did occur as an extraordinarily intricate fart of a computerized tracking system that chews the cud of its own self generated data. Whew! Stinky!
I recall the two occasions when I was cut off my benefit. I appeared as requested in a tiny sealed room. This room is provided with one way mirrors in the two doors, front and back, no windows and a massive desk stretching across the entire room, built as a solid piece to the floor. In this room the case worker and the client are structurally separated into different worlds as if coming to a common approach to life would be the most dangerous outcome ever to occur to the Province of Ontario.
Sitting in such a room, I have spoken to three case workers at different times. I now have a very different understanding of why they all asked me prying questions, examined the paperwork closely to see if mine matched theirs, then left the room for twenty minutes or more while I sweated in the airless cell and wondered somewhat panickedly if anyone would come to let me out eventually. Each when they returned was rather sweet and apologetic (and one rather flirtatious). Both times I was promptly reinstated.
I now understand what they all experience but must not tell me. The ODSP case workers spend untold hours of each week of their work life behind the cell doors correcting the chaos generated by the electronic money distribution system they all serve.
A great deal more was revealed yesterday – indeed grist for another few stories I am sure. Perhaps the most heartening was the wealth of resources we each could claim among ourselves. I have the Registered Disability Savings Plan manual. Another has information about the Disability Tax Credit. Another has the ODSP “dictionary” – a primary on the terms that are used to determine if a person qualifies for various benefits.
We agreed to bring and share our resources next month. I am excited with anticipation!
Judith
I’ll call him Fred. Fred pointed out why ODSP recipients might well be suspicious of anyone asking them questions of how they contribute. He himself has been audited twice. Regardless of my “good intentions”, information I write here may well be picked up and used in “the system” to raise questions, foster misunderstandings and create delays. Many people would rather not risk that extra burden.
Fred does not use the internet but in a few days I can fax him the revised story we worked on. I believe that the next blog entry after this one will give you a sense of how his compassion and gifts are expressed.
Aside from this exchange I was very glad I showed up for the monthly meeting – so glad that I think I am going to try to be a regular. There were three people (and one dog) present who had not been at the last gathering and it made for a very different dynamic. Last month’s chair, the man focused on advocacy with his reams of data re tussles at the government level to further restrict access to the “special diet” – he was there documents in hand but other concerns dominated the discussion this time.
The conversation still centred on one person - the woman with the dog - but its focus was on strategies for getting as much as possible out of Moneybags. This is of prime interest to me! There we sat, gloating over potential treasure like the very thieves the system deems us to be, reviewing the ins and outs, ups and downs of a very complex set of rules that determine our financial context.
Perhaps the most fascinating moment was when someone revealed that the tracking system used by ODSP was created in another country – Sweden he believed – and that it is known to be full of glitches. One of the most common snafu apparently is the random mailing of letters from – guess who – R. Jackson (see previous blog!) to hapless recipients who get “informed” that they have been overpaid or are being cut off, or ….
It’s a rare and beautiful moment in life to discover that one is right. I am enjoying it!
So, indeed, I did receive a notification last year, relative to nothing at all, that I had been overpaid, that my non-existent benefit was being clawed back, then a few months later that my overpayment had been resolved. The entire set of events that my case worker had absolutely no knowledge of really did occur as an extraordinarily intricate fart of a computerized tracking system that chews the cud of its own self generated data. Whew! Stinky!
I recall the two occasions when I was cut off my benefit. I appeared as requested in a tiny sealed room. This room is provided with one way mirrors in the two doors, front and back, no windows and a massive desk stretching across the entire room, built as a solid piece to the floor. In this room the case worker and the client are structurally separated into different worlds as if coming to a common approach to life would be the most dangerous outcome ever to occur to the Province of Ontario.
Sitting in such a room, I have spoken to three case workers at different times. I now have a very different understanding of why they all asked me prying questions, examined the paperwork closely to see if mine matched theirs, then left the room for twenty minutes or more while I sweated in the airless cell and wondered somewhat panickedly if anyone would come to let me out eventually. Each when they returned was rather sweet and apologetic (and one rather flirtatious). Both times I was promptly reinstated.
I now understand what they all experience but must not tell me. The ODSP case workers spend untold hours of each week of their work life behind the cell doors correcting the chaos generated by the electronic money distribution system they all serve.
A great deal more was revealed yesterday – indeed grist for another few stories I am sure. Perhaps the most heartening was the wealth of resources we each could claim among ourselves. I have the Registered Disability Savings Plan manual. Another has information about the Disability Tax Credit. Another has the ODSP “dictionary” – a primary on the terms that are used to determine if a person qualifies for various benefits.
We agreed to bring and share our resources next month. I am excited with anticipation!
Judith
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Letters from Money Bags
I received three letters from ODSP since last I reported on my conflictual relationship with the Money Bag. Happily none of them were about cutting me off. I am counting my blessings and expressing my gratitude to my case worker who took the time to figure out one of the ongoing issues that kept making the system spit me out.
The first letter was to tell me they had paid me too much in January, that being the month I first began receiving my CPP benefit. I will be receiving $55 less on my ODSP cheque for approximately five months until the “overpayment” is reimbursed.
The second letter was truly confusing but the long and short of it was that I received $100 due to the Ontario government making some kind of GST to HST conversion reimbursement. Eventually I realized everyone in the province got a minimum of $100 in this process. It is part of the preparation, I believe, to all of us getting hit with an extra tax in a few weeks.
The third letter was a precise duplicate of the first letter except for a different date. I guess R. Jackson (whose signature is on these letters) wanted to make sure I noticed the first letter. I wonder some days if I will ever have the pleasure of meeting R. Jackson.
It is puzzling (and often more than puzzling!) to be an utterly non-participating member of a conversation. These letters will come whether or not I read them, whether or not I respond to them and regardless of any impact they might have on me as a person. Truly someone could (I’ll bet somebody has!) inserted a Social Insurance Number somewhere in the system and managed to get the system to generate letters to the Social Insurance Number without there needing to be an actual person in any way attached to that Number.
One of the peculiarities of being a non-participating member of a conversation is how utterly unimportant it is to have or express a feeling or thought in the context of the conversation. It makes no difference to the letters, and whatever or whoever generates the letters, if I have any expression about the letters and their content.
I have in the past received genuine letters. Typically receiving a letter causes me to have an emotional response and several thoughts. For example I have received letters telling me that somebody is about to take a legal action against me. Such letters usually cause me to experience initially fear and then some anger and possibly regret. The thoughts I have had in such situations usually lead me to either prepare to defend myself or to explain and/or reconcile with the person who sent the letter. I have never actually been to court for such a suit and so I consider myself an effective communicator and reconcilliator.
As a person, when I receive an ODSP letter, I tend to have similar responses and thoughts. Now this is the problem as far as I am concerned – a waste of psychic energy - as there is absolutely no use in having either emotion or a thought relative to these counterfeit missives (fakes). I am certain that R. Jackson has absolutely no way of anticipating or receiving any kind of reaction from me. In fact I am kind of doubtful if R. Jackson actually exists, as a person I mean.
I can say this with some certainty because while I was away last year on the Peace Tour (www.peaceforinclusion.blogspot.com) I received similar letters about overpayments and finally a letter that my overpayment had been resolved. I had no idea to what these letters referred and no way to respond given my highly unstable situation at the time. When I returned to Ontario I enquired as to the nature of the overpayment and reimbursement, and my case worker had no idea or record of such events. Everything worked out somehow even though I have no idea what the “everything” was all about and never made a single call or sent a single letter in response to the letters sent to me.
I am also puzzling about advocacy and its relationship to this nonpersonal generation of quasi-communication on the subject of my income. Given that humans do in fact feel and think no matter how irrelevant it may be to do so, perhaps advocating serves the purpose of being an outlet for expression on the one hand while on the other having almost the same impact on the system as feeling and doing - absolutely none.
It is said that Ivan Illich, a defrocked priest who stood for responding humanly in the face of many absurdities and atrocities, recommended standing in public in perfect silence in the face of wanting to resist nuclear proliferation. His point was I believe that emotion, thought and language belong to the realm of community and relationship. In the presence of the annihilation of relationship, feeling, thinking and speaking are a way of giving away power. Only silence can sustain empowerment.
I am not certain that Illich was right. I do take his point that when there is no intention of listening then acting like there is amounts to exhausting one’s own personal power. The question remains: “How does one act as person in such a situation?” That is something I am exploring in doing this blog.
Judith
The first letter was to tell me they had paid me too much in January, that being the month I first began receiving my CPP benefit. I will be receiving $55 less on my ODSP cheque for approximately five months until the “overpayment” is reimbursed.
The second letter was truly confusing but the long and short of it was that I received $100 due to the Ontario government making some kind of GST to HST conversion reimbursement. Eventually I realized everyone in the province got a minimum of $100 in this process. It is part of the preparation, I believe, to all of us getting hit with an extra tax in a few weeks.
The third letter was a precise duplicate of the first letter except for a different date. I guess R. Jackson (whose signature is on these letters) wanted to make sure I noticed the first letter. I wonder some days if I will ever have the pleasure of meeting R. Jackson.
It is puzzling (and often more than puzzling!) to be an utterly non-participating member of a conversation. These letters will come whether or not I read them, whether or not I respond to them and regardless of any impact they might have on me as a person. Truly someone could (I’ll bet somebody has!) inserted a Social Insurance Number somewhere in the system and managed to get the system to generate letters to the Social Insurance Number without there needing to be an actual person in any way attached to that Number.
One of the peculiarities of being a non-participating member of a conversation is how utterly unimportant it is to have or express a feeling or thought in the context of the conversation. It makes no difference to the letters, and whatever or whoever generates the letters, if I have any expression about the letters and their content.
I have in the past received genuine letters. Typically receiving a letter causes me to have an emotional response and several thoughts. For example I have received letters telling me that somebody is about to take a legal action against me. Such letters usually cause me to experience initially fear and then some anger and possibly regret. The thoughts I have had in such situations usually lead me to either prepare to defend myself or to explain and/or reconcile with the person who sent the letter. I have never actually been to court for such a suit and so I consider myself an effective communicator and reconcilliator.
As a person, when I receive an ODSP letter, I tend to have similar responses and thoughts. Now this is the problem as far as I am concerned – a waste of psychic energy - as there is absolutely no use in having either emotion or a thought relative to these counterfeit missives (fakes). I am certain that R. Jackson has absolutely no way of anticipating or receiving any kind of reaction from me. In fact I am kind of doubtful if R. Jackson actually exists, as a person I mean.
I can say this with some certainty because while I was away last year on the Peace Tour (www.peaceforinclusion.blogspot.com) I received similar letters about overpayments and finally a letter that my overpayment had been resolved. I had no idea to what these letters referred and no way to respond given my highly unstable situation at the time. When I returned to Ontario I enquired as to the nature of the overpayment and reimbursement, and my case worker had no idea or record of such events. Everything worked out somehow even though I have no idea what the “everything” was all about and never made a single call or sent a single letter in response to the letters sent to me.
I am also puzzling about advocacy and its relationship to this nonpersonal generation of quasi-communication on the subject of my income. Given that humans do in fact feel and think no matter how irrelevant it may be to do so, perhaps advocating serves the purpose of being an outlet for expression on the one hand while on the other having almost the same impact on the system as feeling and doing - absolutely none.
It is said that Ivan Illich, a defrocked priest who stood for responding humanly in the face of many absurdities and atrocities, recommended standing in public in perfect silence in the face of wanting to resist nuclear proliferation. His point was I believe that emotion, thought and language belong to the realm of community and relationship. In the presence of the annihilation of relationship, feeling, thinking and speaking are a way of giving away power. Only silence can sustain empowerment.
I am not certain that Illich was right. I do take his point that when there is no intention of listening then acting like there is amounts to exhausting one’s own personal power. The question remains: “How does one act as person in such a situation?” That is something I am exploring in doing this blog.
Judith
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